Full Circle?

I started hanging out with these guys during the summer of 2001. The summer between Grade 12 and OAC, more than 8 years ago. And that summer, I remember sitting with Justin Lau at YSM and chatting about our futures. Where we wanted to apply for school, what we wanted to study, what we wanted to do with our lives. I even remember Justin saying, "I don't want to look at charts all my life."

Fast forward 8 years, and we're doing it again. Figuring out what we want to do with our lives. Where we should be.

Did we not figure anything out these last 8 years? Are we that slow, haha?

Or is it more an example of God's providence? The epitome of Matthew 6:25-34,

Do Not Worry

²⁵"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? ²⁶Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life^b]">[b]?

²⁸"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. ²⁹Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. ³⁰If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? ³¹So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' ³²For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ³⁴Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

We still don't know, and Justin mentioned that we will probably ask this question again in 8 years. But maybe we don't have to. Maybe it's just the Asian upbringing that's ingrained in us, that tells us we have to figure it all out. At some point. But maybe we don't.

Maybe........we just need to take each day as it comes. I mean, it's been 8 years, and we're still fine. We've been looked after. God's taken care of every detail of our lives. I just got back from Jordan, Justin's about to get married.

Maybe, we just need to leave it up to Him......... =)

Missing Jordan




I miss.......

- talking with you guys every day
- your listening ears
- praying together
- all the laughter, jokes and memories we shared
- seeing you shine for God in every single thing you do
- how you forced me to see things in new ways
- being challenged in my faith every day
- how you made me BETTER!

Julian once said to me, "The past is in the past. There's no sense in harping on it." Maybe I should learn that lesson.

I need to move on and continue to serve God each and every day. Keep looking forward. Not an easy road, but He is always there.

Jeremiah 29:11 ¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

We will always bounce back. =)

Bienvenue au Canada

So now that I've been home for a few days, I must say that it's been a bit of an adjustment, and I honestly hope that this week off will be enough for me to get re-adjusted!

There are so many things to do, so many people to see, that sometimes I just want to scream. But at the same time, I'm keeping calm and remembering how I learned to just take things easy in the Middle East. True, deadlines in Jordan are not the same as deadlines here in Canada, but no matter where I am, God is always present. So He will never give me more than I can handle.

It has been a tough few days though. Just the adjustment.

And I really do miss my friends in Jordan. While I am thrilled to see my friends here and spend time with my family, it's hard knowing that I may never see some of those people ever again.

It's funny, I thought my parents were so opposed to the idea of me staying out in the Middle East full-time. Yet on Saturday morning, my father asked me, "So, are you going back?" and before I could even answer and say, "If God calls me to," he instantly said, "Probably." And when he introduced me to Rev. Byrne on Sunday, he told him how I had "fallen in love with the Middle East."

I honestly don't know anything right now. I left Jordan at peace and knowing that the only person going home with me is Jesus. He's the only one who will be with me always, and only He knows my future. I won't be able to share my experiences with anyone here, in the same way, but Jesus is always there. And I just have to hold on to that.

I will go wherever He calls. And I just have to be patient and let Him show me in His own time.

Inshall'ah, we will see each other again. =D

Jordan.......

So I haven't blogged in the last 6 months, since well, between April to June I was locked up in my audit busy season hole and often didn't get home any earlier than 11 pm. Then afterwards, I dashed off to Jordan for 4 months, and given that I was advised against any religious verbage in my email correspondences, I decided it best not to access my blog at all during that time.

So I apologize for my lack of blogging, but I guess there's a lot to update!

From July 21 to November 19, I was living in Amman, Jordan where I worked for a couple of small businesses, providing my accounting expertise. Essentially, I was providing support for full-time workers who live in Jordan indefinitely.

And what an experience it was - not only did the work force me to think outside the box a bit, as I got creative, but it also showed me how much I enjoyed helping other people. God also continued to challenge me each and every day, as I dealt with a different culture and made new friends.

I cannot begin to even list how many ways He was faithful during this time. Every single day, He would teach me something new and show me His provision in every little detail of every trip and in every person I encountered each day.

I chose this picture to sum up my trip, because it was in the desert at Wadi Rum where I really felt the epitome of Psalm 23, where I could feel God really taking care of me and speaking to me. He is always there.

God is so faithful. 'nuff said. =D

Middle East here I come???

So the application process is still going on, but it may look like I'm headed to Jordan for a few months. There's lots to be determined, and nothing is certain yet, so we'll see what happens. But that's crazy....

I'm getting excited, but I also have to remember that this isn't some trip or exchange, it's serving God. So I have to get that "so cool" and "so fun" image out of my mind.

When?

Last night, I had one of those moments again - something I've never admitted to in the past, except to my closest girlfriends. One of those moments where I broke down and just cried before God. When? When is it going to happen for me? When do I get to share my life with someone? When do I get to follow a guy?

As I see people get engaged one right after the other, swallowing the fact that God is just saying "no" right now, isn't easy. I guess it's even harder to swallow when you see friends hook up, friends who met THROUGH you.

Lord give me the strength to just wait on you. It's better to wait, I have to hold on to that.

PS - as an update, I went and applied to Interserve. My summer is in His hands now

Obedience vs. Passion?

So it's been a while since I've updated - the last month has been surprisingly busy, despite the fact that I don't go out as often. Somehow, the hours just seem to fly by anyway - perhaps it's the old age beginning to set in, haha.

Anyway..........a lot has been on my mind lately. It's funny, every time I am thinking things over in my head, I always think about how I'd type it out in a blog. But when my fingers finally reach the keyboard, I find that I'm at a loss for words.

Basically, to sum it all up, I've determined that Australia just won't be in the cards for me this year. But now I'm wondering whether or not to apply to go on missions with Interserve. A few weeks ago I was so certain that I would. Now..........maybe my mother's worries and doubts got to me. Maybe I just realized how much I like my life now.

I've finished 80% of the application. Gotten the TCBC mission board's approval. Gotten Rev. Wong's recommendation. But then there's that gnawing feeling that.........I don't want to do it. I like my life now.

But then, what if God has called me? Shouldn't I answer? Shouldn't I be obedient to what He has asked me to do? But then, shouldn't I also be passionate about doing this?

*sigh* Still praying about it.........

Samana, Dominican Republic

Many thanks to the ladies, Lil & Anna for a great week! The trip was lots of fun, relaxing and exactly what my body needed before diving into another busy season of work. No more vacations until the summer, so soaking up the sun while I can!

Overall, the perfect way to finish off the 2008 year