What??? I thought I had already made a decision!!*sigh* God works in such funny ways. A month ago, I blogged that some decisions with respect to my career had been made and I was happy with this solution to the never-ending, "What should I do next God?" question. Because at least I had figured out 2009. I'm an accountant, I like plans. And it seemed like the next year's plans were the most logical and what God wanted me to do. But now........God's been funny, and has thrown in some new...."options", shall I say, into the mix.
Option #1So..........literally 5 minutes after I spoke with Angie and told her I didn't know what was happening with my desire to go to Australia, but that all I knew was that I wouldn't be applying this year, the partner came by my desk and asked about Australia. She asked if I wanted to be put on the list to apply for summer 2009. I told her that I felt summer 2010 was better, because I thought I had a better chance since I had more experience. She encouraged me to try this summer anyway, and I agreed. Matt, my manager, also mentioned that I did have a good shot given that they needed lots of people in Melbourne.
This was a bit of a shock, because I had just come to terms with the idea that I wouldn't go this year. I felt this was what God was telling me to do. People kept telling me to pursue this "opportunity of a lifetime" which was bothering me since really, all I wanted to do was meet someone, settle down, and get married. That, and I didn't want to miss Elyse's wedding. But after chatting with Elyse about it, she pushed me to apply (note, the application process doesn't begin until March 2009 anyway), and so I came to terms with the fact that hey, just maybe, I might be going to Australia NEXT summer. And if I didn't get that, then I'd go back to my other plan, which was stay in T.O to write my CPA and go for the FAS secondment.
Option #2Then today, option #2 hit me smack in the head in today's sermon. But let me back up a bit first, as this was just the culmination of a series of events from this last week.
The real irony in this option, comes from the fact that maybe just a few weeks ago, Bryan asked me in Perspectives class one day, "So, what do you think of today's speaker?" to which I responded, "I'm realizing more and more that world missions just ISN'T for me." Most people attend Perspectives class to learn more about Missions, to become more passionate about it. Me, I wasn't getting anything. I was just getting more turned off, in fact. Just more and more affirmation, that my mission was the 1st world, and that I was meant to stay here. To earn more money to support other people who had the heart to go and serve overseas.
Fast-forward to last Tuesday's class, where a couple who are ministering in France were the speakers. France? That perked my interest, as France has always had a special place in my heart ever since Toulouse. And then they discussed how they might move to Africa to French-speaking nations - and that perked my interest too, since I used to have a heart for Africa and always considered using my French-speaking skills to work there. Then the wife also gave a talk on women in missions, and that definitely appealed to my Q.WIL feminist side. At the end of that class, Jas and I just looked at each other and said, "Interesting...." We knew God had spoken to us, just not sure how.
Then today, sitting at TCBC. Little things here and there. The EMC bulletin which updated us by saying, "spiritual food is not passive learning but the active 'doing' of God's will. By doing, we are feeding ourselves." Then Dr. Pui's sharing about her life as a missionary and all the different places she has served. And then, Rev. Kung's sermon. He started it off by saying, "I just wanted you to have the right PERSPECTIVE." THAT WORD - PERSPECTIVE! Plus he discussed the 7 non-negotiable ideas of Christianity, of which evangelism was one, Missions was another.
This morning, God just made it so clear that He was calling me back again to serve Him overseas, somehow. I just don't know where - my guess is somewhere French-speaking.
Option #3This is a spin of Option #2. I instantly thought about the international development program that my firm offered last year. Now, I'm not sure whether it will be offered again this year, but essentially the firm grants you 3 months leave of absence to go overseas and volunteer - they provide all the costs. Originally, I thought that we were required to find our own placements, so I thought this was a good idea given that I could partner with a Christian mission organization. But as I read the requirements, I realize that is not the case - were I to go, I would be partnering with VSO Canada and I would likely be placed in one of their projects.
But from discussing it with Anna, it may be a good fit since this would give me time to pursue something (with the firm's okay) and give me an idea of where I should go or what I should do.
So all of this has been thrown at me these last 2 weeks. *sigh*
I'm just so confused and my mind is just spinning. What should I do????
