What next Lord?

So I'm finally on vacation, yay!!!! After the last 2 months of work work work, it's nice to finally sit back and relax a little. To just do absolutely nothing and ignore work emails. Even though I'm sick, and a little bored, I am welcoming this down "me" time, to just sit back, reflect and think about what God wants me to do next.

Lately, I've been discussing with a lot of my fellow work entourage, as well as my Comm '06s, where life is going to take us next. It's so funny to think that as I prepare for this fall's upcoming recruiting season, that 4 years ago, I was sitting in that very same spot. 4 years! Isn't that insane? And as I've said before, when I first signed on to the firm 4 years ago, I thought that was the end of it all. I was pretty certain that I would just stick with accounting, climb the corporate ladder and be headed on to the partner track. I mean, even up until 2 months ago, I was still pretty certain I'd stick it out for a while. My resume hasn't even been touched since that fall of 2004.

Now, slam in 2 months of brutal clients, and my outlook has completely changed. Now I'm like the rest of my bitter friends, counting down the days until I qualify and have the option to leave. And now I find myself wondering......what next? Will I stick it out? It's so funny, I remember discussing the international exchanges with Sara back in the winter, and she said she didn't want to go on one, simply due to the 1-year commitment in audit afterwards. I remember thinking to myself, "I'm totally happy, I don't mind that at all!" Now......it is one of the factors that is keeping me from applying for the exchange, because really, do I want to be tied down to audit for that long?

Don't get me wrong - I really love the firm. The firm has been great, and has really helped me grow and develop these last few years. I'm just not sure this work is for me anymore. I definitely have lost a lot of desire and drive to give my all and best in it. If I can find work that I want to do within the firm, I'll gladly stay. The only thing KEEPING me in audit, is the rewarding feeling I have when I can help out my NPO clients. It really makes me feel like I'm using my itty bitty knowledge to make a difference in the world.

But that begs the magical question - what work DO I want to do? And to that ladies and gentleman, I must say, I have absolutely no clue. No clue whatsoever. Who knows what will lie ahead for me.

This morning, I even came to the revelation that maybe I'll just quit after I qualify, hahaha. And take time off. I mean, I was thinking about how sometimes I wish I could just pick up and travel the world for a bit. Or do something random. Like teach English. Or go on missions. And then I realized, after I qualify, why not? I mean, what's to stop me right now? I don't have a family I need to support just yet. So who knows, it's a possibility.

Only God knows where I'll be, a year from now. I may end up just being boring and staying in my job (which is very likely, in which case this post would have been for nothing). I'm actually quite looking forward to the Perspectives course this fall, to re-open my eyes about missions.

What next Lord?